Mothers and Mortality

From my experience, I find that mothers walk hand-in-hand with mortality.  We are on the edge of death while bearing the seeds of life.  Yet, hearing that my own mother -- out of breath and in so much pain -- has been admitted to the hospital is just plain impossible to take in.  Maybe it is because I am too far away physically to offer her comfort.  Maybe it is because I had been trying to get a hold of her and hadn't been able to for days before the news came.  

Several of my friends have mothers who have been admitted to the hospital in the past week.  It is difficult company.  The sicknesses stretch from leukemia to acute bronchitis, but all of us come from superhero moms -- the kind that push through and never complain.  I'm not that kind of mom.  Sometimes, I give in and whine.  Or cry.  Or get mad.  

Right now, my heart hurts and I can't breathe, but it is my mother who is on oxygen and I am too far away to give her my air.